Big Blue Eyes

My daughter......she's got the dark hair, pure white skin like Snow White, and those BIG BLUE EYES. They are going to be her weapon of choice as the years go on, and she realizes how powerful those eyes are.

Let me start by stating the obvious: This shit doesn't work on me.

Let's make another obvious statement: She knows it'll work on others.

She's six, and she knows. Make no mistake, she's known since she was BORN how to work those BIG BLUE EYES. She's also got great lashes, too.

A little taste of what's to come of the future......

Book Fairs at school. I hate them. It's plain, and it's simple: I DESPISE THEM. The PTA needs to find a new way to raise money, because the book fairs every year......UGH.

Kids have Kindles, iPads, and Nooks. Oh, yeah.....there are also LIBRARIES. If you haven't heard of these new fangled things, libraries are big buildings, usually within your own school district, where lots of books are kept. Thousands of books. If you can't find one, there are people you can ask to help you! If they can't find it, they can ORDER the book for you.

Best part? Doesn't cost a f*cking DIME. Why? Because your school taxes pay for this amazing oasis.....so USE THE LIBRARY people, you're paying for the damn thing to exist.

Anywho.........that's my take on book fairs. My daughter never asks to buy a book from me, she knows how I feel about the whole stupid thing. Annoyingly, if you're not buying, you are suppose to sit out and watch everyone else. Again, PTA at their finest. It's their annoying way of trying to get my kid to whine at home about being left out.......

I, sorry, could give a rat's ass. My kids have more books than the eye could see. All have been handed down. We go to the library FREQUENTLY. They earn gift cards to the local bookstore. We're good on all of the books. They also have Kindles. I'm set. I don't need anymore books in our home.

But those BIG BLUE EYES. She used them on her best friend's mother........and guess what she came home with? A damn book, and a pointer that The Boy immediately wanted, and fighting over it ensued.

The trick will be to teach her to use those BIG BLUE EYES for good, not evil......just like Mommy learned to do with her Double D's (yup, it's amazing what you can get with a good set of knockers.)

Oh crap.....I just had another thought. She might end up having TWO WEAPONS....or three if you do the math. But really, Double D's can't really be used separately.....it's a package deal on those. They are one unit!

Here's to puberty!